If you care then its time you share

I never saw my father get up to pick his own glass of water. It was my mother’s “job” to serve him. He would always eat dinner first, and then when he was done, my mother would sit down for her meal. My father would proudly proclaim that he had no idea where anything was in the kitchen, and that he couldn’t even boil an egg. I observed this same dynamics, time and again, in the homes of my friends and other family members. There was a time when women used to stay at home taking care of household chores and family members. Times have changed, women now share equal responsibilities along with men in every sphere of life. Most of the families now run on dual income basis where both husband and the wife take care of financial necessities. Not much has changed. Housework is always considered a woman’s work. Indian men believe laundry is a woman’s job, and would prefer to watch TV over doing the laundry. My partner criticized me for one instance of my watching two hours of TV  while laundry and dishes were in the clothes washer and dishwasher (so  things were getting done, in fact) when he watches TV every day while  things need to be done around here.  I do 90% of the work, as I do the  dishes, cleaning counter tops, cleaning sinks, cleaning bathroom,  changing diapers, nursing the baby, and shop for groceries, cook  dinner, and he sometimes takes the baby when I need to attend to my  older child or do another chore. I feel like the workload is mostly on me. As we are living with in-laws, my husband is rebuked by his people and therefore feels embarrassed to help me with the household chores, even if he really wants to. A sense of bonding between husband and wife can blossom more easily if they are on their own, where they can share their lives freely without any inhibitions or ego hassles. It is because of the deep rooted social
setup that we all live in where a man is supposed to be the bread-winner and a woman is expected to stay in the confines of her house to take care of her family. It is simply not fair. If you have the resources, hire some help. If not, try to make it clear to your partner that it is not acceptable for you to be doing 90% of the work. Explain to him that you need his help in #ShareTheLoad.

 “I am joining the Ariel #ShareTheLoad campaign at BlogAdda and blogging about the prejudice related to household chores being passed on to the next generation.”